I recently finished the book “Fear and Faith” by Trillia J. Newbell and I loved it! I read it along with my mother in law’s Bible study group virtually. The group was in another state, but the leader sent out questions and we all emailed back our answers and our insights from each chapter.
Fear is definitely something I struggle with in different areas of my life so I was very interested in reading this book and it did not disappoint. I’ve listed some of the chapters below that pertain to the areas of fear she discusses:
Chapters
- Fear of Man
- Fear of the Future
- Fear of Other Women
- Fear of Tragedy
- Fear of Not Measuring Up
- Fear of Physical Appearance
- Fear of Sexual Intimacy
Fear of the future and of tragedy are definitely areas I struggle with but it really comes down to wanting to always know what will happen and being in control. Those are both easily solved when I remind myself (daily) that I am never in control. I also will never know what will happen one minute from now let alone 1 year or 1 decade from now.
One other major point she makes in these chapters on the fear of tragedy and of the future is that God is always with us – so no matter what happens and when – He is there. Knowing that He will be with me through whatever life brings does bring me so much comfort and peace. It’s when we feel like we are alone or think we are going through things alone that the fear sneaks in. The enemy wants us to believe we are alone, but we are not. Hallelujah!
Newbell offers a lot of wisdom throughout this entire book but these chapters really stood out to me.
Fear of the future
Fear of the future is, as I’ve said above, only a fear because we want to be in control. Newbell says ” I think there are two reasons I tend to fear the future. The first is that I believe I know what is best for my family and me. I am convinced that I would do what is best, and therefore I want to take control. During these times, I do not trust that the Lord knows best (ouch), and I do not trust that He is operating as my Father.” These sentences are so convicting and true!
She ends the chapter with this: “The only thing that will remedy our fearful, controlling, hungry, anxious hearts is understanding, knowing and finding more of Him. We need to know that He is good, in control, and mindful of man.”
Fear of tragedy
I’ve found myself fearing imaginary tragedies many times in my life. If you think about it – that is such wasted anguish. I’m literally worrying for no reason.
One sentence in the tragedy chapter that really threw me for a loop came right after she was discussing being afraid that tragedy would happen to your spouse or children. She points out that we can make our husband and kids idol in our lives. She goes on to say “Perhaps my fear of losing them, which leads to sinful and unnecessary anxiety is because I want them too much. They are mini gods. Idolatry is something to consider as you fight fear”.
Whoa! That is not a concept I had ever thought about. However, it makes sense. We have to put God first and trust Him with everything else – never putting anything or anyone above him.
Fear of not measuring up
When I read all of the chapter titles I thought for sure the chapters on Fear of the Future and Fear of Tragedy would hit the hardest, but it was actually the Fear of Not Measuring Up surprisingly!
I have the most sentences underlined in this chapter. 🙂
In this chapter Newbell explains that if we are worried about measuring up even if it’s only to our own standards, we can easily lose sight of what matters most. She goes onto explain that sometimes we may snap at our kids not because they did anything wrong, but because we are in a rush to get things done. (Mind you these “things” we need to get done are usually on our own list and are not more important than our family.) She shares a story of trying to make dinner and answer an important email and snapping at her kid. She says “The kid hadn’t done anything wrong; I simply was trying to do too much all at once, got impatient and irritable, and allowed my tongue and sin to get the best of me. My joy was robbed, my child was hurt and I felt remorseful – all for an email. Not worth it!”
Wow, I can definitely relate to this, unfortunately. Sometimes (well a lot of the time) I let my to-do’s take over and run my day. I want to accomplish everything and usually all at once. It’s completely unrealistic and as Newbell says “…some of the best news you and I can hear is that we actually cannot do it all.” Amen to that.
I need to let more things go and be present and focus on what is most important.
I would highly suggest reading this book. Once you understand where your fears truly come from and knowing that God is ultimately in control – you can let go of them. Letting go of your fears can be a daily, hourly even minute by minute exercise, but it’s worth it. Letting go of your fears definitely creates more peace in your life!
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